my feet don’t smell
An eery silence and everything’s still,
The room disappeared as fog fell,
All I did was remove my holey socks,
But I know my feet don’t smell.
On a sunny beach with bare feet,
Suddenly the sea begins to swell,
All I did was go for a cool paddle,
But I’m sure my feet don’t smell
Walking down a street in flip flops,
Someone ran in front with a bell,
He was warning people of the odour,
But really my feet don’t smell.
I was shopping in Leicester market,
A stall holder gave the hard sell,
Two for one odour eaters half price,
But surely my feet don’t smell.
I spent the afternoon in the park,
But I heard the park keeper yell,
Get your feet off the dying grass,
I thought my feet didn’t smell,
I was having a nice relaxing bath,
Washing my feet with a flannel,
Suddenly it rotted over my feet,
Tell me my feet don’t smell.
I booked a holiday in the Maldives 
In a really swanky 5 star hotel,
Shoes off and the Fire alarm began,
I’m positive my feet don’t smell.
All these experiences on my mind,
My feet are out on the loose,
I really must come out and say,
Actually I hide cheese in my shoes.

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