Derek the Disillusioned Dalek


Exterminate, exterminate, the speech went,

Driving round in his armoured shell,

Death ray was constantly cocked and ready,

Designed for giving all enemies hell.


This war machine was the latest version,

Made in a massive factory in Dalek City,

Custom paint job and tentacle finished,

Even the weapons had extra capacity.


On dark Skaro the dalek home planet,

He was revered like a huge gladiator,

No mercy killing sprees was his specialty,

He didn’t know the word mediator.


Enemies feared the dreaded word Derek,

The coming storm he was dubbed,

Each soldier who came up against him,

Like a cigarette their life stubbed.


No race of aliens could resist against him,

Neither Klingon or borg were a match,

Whole squadrons of storm troopers killed,

Even a terminator was an easy dispatch.


The poster dalek of the recruitment drive,

He had fame amongst all dalek kind,

A catchy slogan was always above his head,

Many toasts happened when he dined.

To other daleks His life was so perfect,

But Derek had a black hole in life,

The screams of his enemies couldn’t fill,

Poor Derek was yearning for a wife.


This was prohibited in all dalek culture,

All new daleks were grown in tanks,

No love or feelings of affection allowed,

So Derek decides to break the ranks.


On the last of Derek’s recruiting tours,

He had been introduced to Dorothy,

She was the greatest singer on Skaro,

Her family had a prestigious pedigree.


Derek had to meet up with her quickly,

Lust, love, new emotions were brewing,

He found her communication number,

And tentacled to code for home viewing.


She came up on his screen straight away,

Not caring she was in a dalek towel,

He forgot the sweet words he rehearsed,

All that came out was a little howl.


Then he heard the sweetest phrase ever,

He was knocked off his custom wheels,

I’ve been waiting for your call said Dorothy,

Shall we show the daleks our heels.


Yes he said not knowing what heels were,

Let’s fly away in my new fast spaceship,

Before she answered he was round hers,

They were soon in a close relationship.


Flying round stars and through galaxies,

Their love flourishing each day,

Baby daleks were appearing each star date,

Nothing else stood in their way.


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