The New Normal

 

The corona virus has brought with it some nasty stuff,

Like queuing outside shops and we’ve all had enough,

Locked up inside with repeats of unwatched TV shows,

The suspicious look when you just blow your itchy nose,

The hugs banned too except from your own cell mates,

But when you spend days together the feeling deflates,

No toilet roll available except the hard stuff for weeks,

No freshly made mocha with the cocoa covered peaks,

No going to the pub for a few friendly sociable drinks,

And no drunk imbecile telling you what he really thinks,

Although these few examples don’t annoy me like this,

A brand new saying which really does take the, mickey,

Three words that never ever should’ve been put together,

A phrase which irritates me like an extra ticklish feather,

But everyone’s saying it in a bid to sound business like,

Twenty times per meeting, can you lot please take a hike,

News broadcasters, advertisers and even a famous chef,

Every time I hear these three words it makes me bereft,

This shameful use of English isn’t even a whole sentence,

A meaningless string of letters that doesn’t make sense.

Normal is an abstract concept that’s been happening ages,

A concept that can’t be new or played out in several stages,

A new normal isn’t normal so cannot be called normal now,

I am begging everyone to boycott this new phrase and vow,

Please tell the people who use it to speak English politely,

And wipe out the new normal from our language rightly!

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